


a promise of more tomorrows

by captaincastello



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Happy Ending, Pining, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 17:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18643171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captaincastello/pseuds/captaincastello
Summary: Natasha comes out of Vormir after paying the highest price, and survives the final battle with Thanos. Now it’s time for Steve to return the stones to their corresponding timelines, and she finds that she still has so much to lose even after the biggest battle of their lives. Steve thinks she doesn’t have to, not this time.





	a promise of more tomorrows

**Author's Note:**

> i have A LOT of feelings  
> a lot of them are positive, but overall are dulled by the loss i felt for natasha  
> and i'm so conflicted over the last scene and cried more than i need to  
> so this is me coping with canon (or not bc i'm totally changing what happened in here)  
> i hope this helps heal you too in some way

 

 

 

He doesn’t have to tell her anything, but she knows anyway.

She knows it in the way Bucky’s voice softens as his arms go around his best friend, in the melancholy that falls over his eyes when he looks at Steve. Sam and Bruce don’t seem to suspect anything, and maybe it’s for the best. The Man Out of Time is getting some back for himself, and she could never deny him that.

She convinces herself she has no need for goodbyes, that the right thing to do is to stand by in support and not make it an harder for any of them. Steve going back doesn’t mean she loses someone - it means he gains more by getting to live the life that’s been denied him all those years. She remembers one quiet night under palm trees and indigo skies, the way Steve’s eyes roamed distant when he talked - about his brothers in arms, his supposed plan for the future, a slow dance that never happened. And she’d never be the one to deny him that even if it costs her so much.

When it’s her turn and Steve pulls her close, she tries to not think of it as the last time she’ll ever bury her head in the crook of his neck. Instead, she thinks of all their quiet talks, his coy smile, his honest eyes. And even when they release each other from this embrace, she knows she’ll always have him, the way people live on inside you once they’re gone.

These thoughts only give her small comfort when Steve finally leaves her side, and all she can do is to count his footsteps until he climbs into the platform.

Five seconds in before they pull him out, Bruce says. His voice sounds a bit distant, a faint whisper in the wind.

Bruce starts counting down before firing up the gate, and Steve turns his head to look at her. In this moment all her training fails her as a wave of emotions start pushing against the floodgates that she so carefully built over the years. _Three_ \- she can’t look him in the eye so she lowers her gaze instead and kicks at the grass below her boots. It does nothing to make it all any easier. _Two_ \- she fought to get back the family she lost and paid dearly for the price of their return, and she overestimated herself thinking she came out stronger from it because she is not ready for this. _One -_

One, and Steve is gone.

She presses her lips tightly together, but the cry lodged in her throat isn’t going anywhere.

The five-second wait begins.

_Five._

Natasha starts backing away on her heels. She has nothing to wait for at the end of these five seconds.

_Four._

She sees Bucky glance back at her. She can’t hold his gaze either, he looks blurry. Everything looks a little blurry.

_Three._

The space where Clint had been hurts. Now another hole has opened up inside her and her knees are about to give out.

_Two._

She turns around. Her eyes hurt looking at where Steve had been. That’s not the only part of her that’s aching.

_One _.__

She wants to run. Her wobbly knees won’t permit her.

He’s gone. She’s never going to see him again. He’s really gone-

“Welcome back, Cap.”

“Good to be back.”

She stops. The pounding in her chest doesn’t - it’s getting louder. She’s surprised to hear his voice - it’s as if he never left.

She turns around. She meets a familiar set of blue eyes. Her vision is still swimming, but she’ll know those baby blues anywhere.

“Hold this for me, will you?” Steve says as he steps off the platform and hands Bruce the briefcase that a while ago held the Stones. His eyes never leave hers as he closes the space between them, his stride as sure as his smile.

Natasha is about to ask him why, but Steve’s hands are faster than her brain can fire questions at the moment, and in the next second he closes in on her, with his calloused palms on her damp cheeks. She closes her eyes just as he does, and nothing has ever felt so right. This time, she lets her knees give - she knows he’ll catch her, and he won’t let go.

They pull back for air, and she rests her forehead against his.

“Steve, how…?” she says as he wipes her right cheek with his thumb.

“Better than 2014?” he says softly, but he’s obviously feeling a bit smug.

She lets out a shaky laugh. He smiles back.

“Way better. What made you change your mind?”

“I never did,” Steve says. “I’ve already had my mind made up for a long time. I’m sorry it took me this long.”

She shakes her head, words failing her at this time. Instead she simply pulls him closer, her hand caressing the back of his neck. It always made her feel better knowing how well he fits so right against her, how he’d never fail to hold her and accept all of her. And always, it made her want to wish for something, to start letting herself want things and she’s always told herself “no”. For so long, she’s always told herself “no”.

But not this time.

She looks at him, and she doesn’t see the past she always takes with her wherever she goes. All she sees are better tomorrows.

“Well,” she says. “We’ve got time to spare.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! ;__;  
> feel free to scream to me about your feels i am in need of catharsis


End file.
